Something to think about...


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Update on my goals for the week

Well, if my baby would sleep, I could write. But she evidently heard I had made big plans to get some things done and so she has decided to wake me up 3 and 4 times a night. Oh, well! I will get there...I will.

Monday, August 16, 2010

The Last Time I Saw You...

...I was in a hurry that morning, rushing out the door to catch the school bus. I was ten, almost 11, and had never been touched by heartache, pain, or death. You were lying in your bed, where you had been for weeks. I knew you were sick, I just didn't know HOW sick. You tried to sit up when I came to your doorway. You were always so happy to see me. You managed to prop yourself up onto one shoulder and you smiled, waved, and said, "bye-bye, sweetheart."

You went in the hospital later that day, for more tests was what I was told.

That night, as I lay in my bed feeling safe and certain of my world, you passed away in your sleep.

Nothing has ever been the same since. I swear the sun doesn't shine as brightly as it did before. I still miss you every day. I can't talk about you without feeling like I'm ten-years-old again, hearing the awful news. I wish I had known that that morning would be the last time (for a while) that I would see you. I would have stayed and sat on the edge of your bed. I would have told you all the things I have been holding inside my heart since that day. I would have said I love you and told you "thank-you" for loving me. I would have told you that you were the best grandfather in the world and my very best friend. I would have told you, above all else, not to worry about me, that I am so much stronger than I realize. I will make it through this world, always trying to hang onto what's important - love, hope, GOD - and I will see you again in a little while.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Goals for the week

WRITING GOALS - Focus on my YA book for now. It seems to be going smoothly (well, more so than the other, anyway)! I know most of my characters and the outline is coming along nicely. I need to finish the outline and enter what I have so far into the laptop (not fun)! I've been writing it in longhand and I have no real idea as to how many words I have so far. Also, everything just looks so much neater all typed up. It's going to be time-consuming and frustrating, but I'll have to do it eventually.

For my 2 childrens' stories - they have been sent to an editor already, so they are good to go. I just need to research the market and try and find "homes" for each one.

Also, I'd like to come up with a couple more good ideas for childrens' books, as I love writing for kids!

So...YA - outline and what I have so far entered into the computer
Ch's stories - find "homes" and generate at least two more ideas

My 8-month-old keeps me from setting any kind of real schedule, so I'm going to log my time and check back in here Sunday with the results.

FITNESS GOALS - since this isn't just a blog about my writing, but one about accomplishing ALL of my goals...I am planning on TRYING to start eating right and exercising. I'm so tired of being exhausted and feeling bad, catching every cold and bug that comes along. I also wouldn't mind looking better! healthier, drink at least 3 bottles of water a day, and exercise for 30 mins at least 5 days this week.

I could have been the mother
forced to listen to my baby's cries
The cries of a child who has never known
what having a full stomach feels like
I could have been the mother
not able to produce enough milk
in order to keep him alive
Instead of a bedtime story and a kiss goodnight
I could have been the mother left to wonder
if my child would still be alive
come morning

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

These things that bring me joy...

The promise of Heaven, definately. Who wouldn't be happy thinking of such a place. No good-byes, no tears, no more pain, seeing my loved ones again. And, of course, there's that Jesus-guy that sounds pretty awesome!

My daughters, without them, well...
My older, Morgan, is my best friend, the person who, if I had a thousand other friends, I would pick to hang out with. Simply no contest there.
My baby, Madeline, is SPOILED, but so precious. I look forward to every wonderful experience she will bring to my life.

Writing words down on paper, when they come out just right.

Daydreaming about someday...when I get published...when I can give my girls the world...

My pets and their goofy-happiness. Like when they spot a bug, or a frog, or their own back paws (yes, Pal, they are attached)!

Hope for the future. My own, my daughters, the world and the human race. I get down sometimes, down and gloomy, but I always pull myself out of it, because I believe, as long as you have hope, everything will be okay. Plain and simple.